I just ran a firewalk for Shine PND and one of the Warrior Mums was kind enough to write a post about her journey. Over to Laura Wyatt…
During one of my first sessions at Shine there was a serious buzz of excitement from Lauraine! She’d just been part of a group of Shine mums who’d walked on fire!!!
“Walked on fire” I thought, that’s absolutely crazy. I listened intently as she told us the story of the incredible mums who’d taken on the coals to raise money for Shine. She told us she was hoping to make it happen again the following year and I knew I wanted to be a part it, but I also thought that I’d never be brave enough really. “You’d never be confident enough to do that” the negative voice in my head said.
Fast forward 12 months, lots of CBT, a huge amount of support from the shine team and their sessions and I was feeling better, not the person I used to be but certainly someone who could now cope with my anxiety for the most part.
I was desperate to give something back to Lauraine and her team, who had given me so much.
And there it was….this years firewalk! My chance…
I signed up and I will always be thankful that I did.
On the day of the walk I drove to the village hall feeling excited about the firey hot coals but terrified about the group talking sessions that were supposed to be part of the training beforehand.
Public speaking and being the centre of attention are things I’ve hated my entire life, and knowing that we might speak about our personal journeys through postnatal mental health intensified that fear.
But I took some deep breaths, reminded myself why I was there and sat down amongst all of the other women.
Chris took us on a journey of self analysis, the next 5 hours would be a roller coaster of emotions. As he began talking about digging deep to find what was holding us back in life I felt a bit lost. To date I’ve made significant changes to my life and was convinced I didn’t have much to give. But I soon realised I was wrong.
Chris has such an engaging way of focusing your attention, he is witty and empathetic but knows how to draw out even the most hidden negative thoughts that are secretly holding you back.
During the training there are cleverly placed opportunities to prove exactly how strong a person can be just by using positivity and having someone completely believe in you.
He instinctively knows who is struggling and when to draw out the warrior within, then make them face their fear. It’s such a privilege to be a part of it.
Through silly dancing, arrow breaking, public speaking and glass walking, one by one every woman took a step through their fear and came out of the other side feeling braver and a little more like wonder woman!
Chris is patient and kind and builds up a complete wall of support around even the most vulnerable soul. Constantly feeding you positivity, reassuring you that you are stronger and braver than you think. Helping you battle the negative voices and leave them behind you, reinforcing the beliefs using music that leaves a lasting strength within you.
By the time we stepped outside to light the fire, I felt different, like I could face any challenge head on and accomplish anything I set out to do, the nagging voice I used to hear telling me I wasn’t good enough, GONE!
Feeling the wall of heat from the flames burning in front of me was a reminder of what I set out to do. I would walk over these burning embers to help other mums searching in the dark for a hand to hold, to help them through their suffering.
Standing at the edge of the firewalk I felt like a coiled spring! Full of excitement and purpose.
I saw Chris’s face on the other side, reassuring and calm. It was time.
“Are you ready” he asks,
“Yes” I hear a voice shout, which sounds different from the one I’m used to hearing, full of self confidence and belief.
“What is your name”
“I AM WORTHY” I shout, believing for the first time in my life it was true.
The fire underfoot made me feel alive, the searing heat reminding me that I CAN do anything I set out to do, pain whether mental or physical, will no longer hold me back.
I walked 3 times, and each time the coals were stoked and made hotter, and each time I proved to myself that the negative voice in my head would no longer win.
I feel completely humbled to have had this opportunity and my life has honestly changed for the better.
Chris is a wizard! If the chance arises for you to walk on fire with him do not hesitate.